Alan D. Abbey,

A regional Games: Palestine, Israel, Egypt, Jordan make 'Pie-J'

Good morning, everyone. This is Katie Cantevrstop of the Today, Tomorrow and Forever Show. In just a few seconds we will be going to CNNBCBS correspondent Ran Dather in London, where everyone is eagerly awaiting the imminent announcement by the IOC on where the 2016 Summer Olympic Games will be held.

As everyone knows by now, there are three finalists - New York, Paris, and the joint Palestine-Israel-Egypt-Jordan bid people are calling, "Pie J." You've all heard and seen the clever Web and cellphone ad campaign with the catchy slogan, "Pie J is not Pie in the Sky." It's quite hard to believe, but Pie J is definitely the favorite. Ran?

That's right, Katie, bookmakers right here in London have Pie-J as a 5-2 favorite, over New York at 6-1, and Paris the longshot at 9-1.

Insurgents in 'Bigger Apple'

For those of you who have been living under a rock in the last year, here's a quick rundown of the three bids: New York, having failed to secure a stadium in 2005, which led to the demise of its bid for the 2012 Games, acquired the neighboring state of New Jersey last year in a hostile takeover to make sure it, in fact, would have adequate stadiums for the Games. The IOC never officially commented on the move, but sources in the IOC say the ongoing guerilla warfare between New York officials and insurgents on the New Jersey side of the Hudson River crossings make it less than likely the Bigger Apple, as it is now calling itself, will be selected.

Paris, having come in a disappointing second in 2005 in its bid for the 2012 Games, has continued to press the IOC, claiming that it has been rejected so many times it would do anything to get the Games, including offering French couture items to all IOC members and their significant others.

But problems have crept in since Mohammad Dhargabeja of the new Parti Islamique de France was elected prime minister last year. The International Association of Women Athletes has said new French laws prohibiting women from being seen on the streets after dark, and requiring all women to wear burkas covering them from head to toe would make it impossible for them to compete.

And longtime sponsors, from IBMSoft to Coca-Pepsi Cola, have complained they would be unable to entertain corporate executives and clients because of the new French law requiring that men and women sit separately in all public locations, including restaurants and corporate skyboxes.

The mayor of Paris, Jean-Jacques-Jules et Jim LeBeral, has failed so far, it seems, in his bid to secede from France and be declared a ward of the European Union, which would have negated some - but not all - of the new Shaaria-type laws. In fact, EU president Ahmed le Pepin (Abu Muesli) of the Federal Islamic Republic of Belgium has so far successfully resisted Paris's overtures, going so far as to return still wrapped the present of three women named Monique that LeBeral sent from the City of Lights.


So, perhaps it isn't surprising that Pie J is the front-runner, especially since the new high-speed mag lev train connecting Amman, Ramallah, Jerusalem and Cairo has significantly reduced travel time among the four capital cities.

Pie J has also been remarkably successful in getting approvals for building new stadiums and repurposing ancient sites for modern uses. Who wouldn't be thrilled at seeing Olympic Table Tennis on the top of Masada, or attending the bicycle races at the new Petra Velodrome, which locals call the Petradome.

Pie J has also lined up promises of significant corporate sponsorship, especially since the creation of the Middle East Economic Union has reduced costs for software development and online product distribution nearly to zero. Yahoogle has promised to broadcast the Games on all of its distribution platforms, including its new 5G 3-D cell phones.

Well, I think the big moment has finally come, Katie. Here's IOC president Peter Ubermensch.

"Ladies, gentlemen and artificial persons, welcome. Thank you for coming today to hear our decision. The IOC is very proud to announce that Pie J is truly no pie in the sky dream. The 2016 Summer Olympics Games will be held for the first time in four countries at once: Palestine, Israel, Egypt and Jordan. To quote the ancient philospoher, 'If you will it, it is no dream.'"

Alan D. Abbey is Editor and Managing Director of Ynetnews